The contest of "The sexiest anime girl ever"!!!!
by Little green
Summary: The GW boyz must vote for the [fill the blank]!!! If you wanna know everything about the security hamster and how to elect a babe... R&R! Pleeeeeez! (I'll post the 2nd part very soon if it's worth it but it was too long to put it in one part!)
1. Part I!!

Hiyaaaa!!! I'm back with a stupid fic!! This an idea that I got cuz' there soon will be the [moronic] "Miss France" contest, and pple start to talk about it... The difference is that in my contest, NOBODY CHEATS!! (Or amost nobody...), True, last year, they said that Miss Thaïti had cheated to be elected!!!   
The Moleman's comment : "Who cares?? She's a babe!" "No she's nooot!!" "Yes!" "No!!" "Yeees!!! _drools_>" "No!" "Yes!" Etc................................................................................ "No!"   
  
  
  


The disclaimer : Pffff... Those who think I own GW, raise your hands... _counts_> Okay... Well, I don't. You can lower the hands now, you know! Are ya gonna read with hour hands up???   
  
  


The   
"sexiest anime girl ever" contest! (Or : How many lethal magic attacks can a GW boy stand before passing out or dying...)   
  
  
  
  


_The setting is a vast, empty theater, The GW boyz are sitting in big armchairs, in front of the stage, reading the script. Heero is glaring at the pages, Duo is drooling, Trowa is... Uh... Shutting up, Quatre is asking the Moleman, who is keeping the doors, in case a boy tries to escape, why they're all wearing "disaster proof" clothes and Wufei, well... Wufei is reading the script for the second time, with his glasses, because he thinks that he must have made a mistake somewhere and that, no, absolutly not, he can't be here to judge a weak Onnas beauty contest..._

Author - _coughs, clears her throat_> Okaaaayyy!!! Did you guys understand everything?? First you choose ten anime girls, then 3, then you vote one last time to elect the "sexiest anime girl ever"!

Wufei - That's exactly what I was afraid of. I'm outta here!! _Lunges at the door, but the Moleman beats him with his shovel and an unknow, mysterious hamster, wearing a black cape and a black mask, bites his rear._> Oooooooowwww!!! Natakuuuuuu!!! Heeeeellllppp meeeeee!!!!

Author - BWUAHHAAHAHAHHAAAHAHAH!!! See!! See what happens when you disobey!! Nobody will hear your screams!!!

Duo - _Standing up_> But... I never said I wanted to leave! I wanna see giiiirls!!

Quatre - _Sweatdrops_> Neither did I... I'd be very honored to be the judge of your contest too!

_The author turns to the two remnant Gundam pilots with a questioning (and threatening) look on her face._

Heero - _Tries to reach for his gun, which is hidden in his spandex shorts, but he stops as he caught sight of a bleeding, moaning Wufei who managed painfully to sit back in his armchair._> ... Uhn...

Trowa - _Lift his hands to surrender_> . ..... .. .... ...... .. .. ... ..... .. .... ....... ...!!

Author - O_o; ...Thanks for this constructive comment, Trowa! And you... _Turns to Heero and Wufei_> Don't try anything stupid!!

Duo - _Tapping his foot impatiently_> Can we begin nooooow??? My ice cream is melting!!

Author - _Koff, koff_> Uhm!! The first candidates! The Gundam Wing girls!! _applauses_>, #1, Miss Relena Peacecraft!!!

_Relena walks on stage, giving Heero burning looks and obvious winks. She takes a few poses before standing in front of the judges with the sexiest smile she can manage (Which is scarry.)_

Heero - Omae w...

Duo - We know! Let's judge her, now, eh? Soooo... _Bright "The-God-of-Death-will-kill-you-all" smile_> Ugly!!

Wufei - She's out!

Trowa - D

Quatre - I'm so very sorry Miss Relena! But you leave us!

Relena - _Throws her pink ribbon at Duo and bawls._> You!! You *** of a *****!!! ****** ******!!!

Author - _Grinning widely_> I knew it... #2! Miss Hilde Schbeiker!!

All the GW boyz - _Start to understand what, exactly, they have to do._> No boobs. No hair. She's out!

Hilde - Duo Maxwell... You better be ready when you come home tonight....

Duo - O.O;

Author - #3 Miss Dorothy Catalonia!

Duo and Wufei - Aaahhaahh!! Eyebrows WARNING!!! She's out!!

Heero - hn...

Quatre - _Hides under his armchair_>Jocker!! I can't vote!

Dorothy - You better not...

Author - Trowaaaa!! Your opinion will tell us if she stays!

Trowa - D

Author - Bye Doro-chaaann!!

_Dorothy leaves but her swords flies mysteriously in the general direction of Quatre's empty armchair._

Author - #4... Please welcome, Lady Uuuuune!!!

All (Or almost) - Too old. She's out!

Trowa - D

Lady Une - You insignificant braaaaats!!! Lord Treize will squish you!!

Quatre - _Kawaii smile_> But, Treize is dead, miss Une!

_Lady Une leaves, weeeeeeeeeping and shriiiieeeeking..._

Author - _Scratching her head> _Uh... Ok... #5!! Another Une!! Midii Une!!

_All the "judges" eyed the newcomer appreciatively, Trowa, though he is not able to express his current state by words, is drooling and Quatre and Duo are trying to restrain him from doing anything that the morals could reprobate._

Duo - Boobs. Checked.

Quatre - Blonde. Checked.

Heero - Hn... ...ye... brows.

Wufei - Will you snap out of it!! It's only a weak and disgusting ONNA!! _Smiling to Midii>_ Uhm... Could turn so we can admire your a... Uh... Your back?

Midii - _Turning obediently>_ Naaaanaaaashiiiiii!!!

Quatre - Pardon?

Midii - Naaaaaaannaaaaashiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Duo - Does she know any other words??

Author - No. Barbie doesn't have that much of vocabulary...

Quatre - ... Let's not have ourselves stopped at petty details, eh? I say she stays.

Heero - Unh.

Wufei - _Blushing>_ She's kind of OK, even if she can't really talk.

Duo - Helll!!! she staaaaayyys!! _Drools, huge nosebleed>_

Trowa - _Head threatening to explode, steam coming out of his ears> _CCCMCCCCCMC CCCCCCMMCCCCCC

Author - Well... Uh... I guess Midii is our first finalist! Now, #6, Lucrezia... Noin!!!

Duo and Wufei - _Munching pop corn_> You're out, granny...

Quatre - A few wrinkles, maybe... You truly are beautiful Miss Noin... But...

Heero - Groumpf!

Noin - Shut up!! You freaks!!

Author - Ah! Trowa hasn't given us his opinion yet...

Trowa - .... ....... .. ... . ..... ... .. ...... ......... .. .. . ......!!!

Author - Uh... Okay...

Noin - What did that f****n' hairball say!!!!

Author - I can't translate... But, basically, you're out.

Noin - _Tries to kill Trowa, but, as she's only inches away from his armchair, the mysterious security hamster appears, flies in her direction and bites her ear._> EEEEEAAAAUUUUHHHH!!!!

_Noin leaves, weeping, with her half-ear in her hand._

Author - _Cleaning the blood> _Weeeellll!!! Our next candidate, #7, Catherine Blooooooom!!

_Catherine appears, in her performing costume, with her knives, and does a little dance on stage._

Duo - Sorry Tro-man... Too old, too dangerous.

Wufei - I agree... That onna is scary...

Quatre - _Looks at the knives warily, then at the security hamster, in a corner, he breathes a sigh of relief and proceed to give his opinion._> Uh... Sorry... Miss Catherine... You're out!

Heero - Uh!

_Catherine glares at Trowa with the promise of death in her eyes, or at least the promise of seventy years of dishes washing ans cages cleaning..._

Trowa - ... _timidly_> C

Author - 1/5... Sorry Cathy... You leave us!! Heehehehe!!!

Catherine - You little s***s!!! _Throws a knife at the author who turns chibi to avoid it._>

Author - No violence!!! _Glares at Catherine_> You're out!!! See my fanfic-Author-hy...

Duo - ...perpower!!!

Author - I warn you... Shinigloomy... This is the LAST time you steal my line!!!

Duo - Oops... Sorry! _Sweatdrops_>

Author - _Turns to Catherine_> Abracadabra!! Badaboom!!!

_A giant Twinky, that no one had seen coming (Not even Duo.), falls from the ceiling and squishes Catherine, spilling cream all over the stage and on the GW boyz._

Quatre - Bwwweeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Duo - _Eats, eats, eats, eats, his belly swells._> I'm Shiniyummmyyy!!!

Wufei - _Wiping the thick cream of his face and his katana_>The INJUSTICE!!!

Heero - _Choking under 4 meters of cream_> ... Hhhhh... ...HhhHhh...

Trowa - _Holding a note_> Can't you use the fanfic author power in less NAUSEOUS ways?? Besides, I tell you, you just killed my sister!!!

Author - So what??? You're always complaining! Ensign Barton!! You'll clean the cream!!

Trowa - _Attempts to throw the note and the pen in the author's face_> INJUSTICE!!!

_Trowa was about to try to throw the pen again, but he spots the security hamster near the author, so he cleans the cream (With a toothpick, becuz' he has been rude), and when he's done, the contest goes on..._

Author - _Clears her throat, glares at Trowa._> Uhm... Our next candidate, and the last Gundam Wing girl, #8, Miss Saaaaaally Poooo!!!

_Sally walks in, immediatly waving insanely at Wufei._

Wufei - _Covers his eyes with his hands._> I don't even wanna see. SHE'S OUT!

Duo - _He can't see Sally, because his belly is too huge, now._> OUT!

Heero - ... Hhhh!

Quatre - _Examines Sally attentively._> Uhm... Too old... And the twists... No! She's out!!

Trowa - _Arms crossed, pouts._>...

Author - Are you refusing to vote??

Trowa - _Pouts,pouts,pouts,pouts,pouts._>...

Author - _Gestures to the security hamster to approach._> Treize... He doesn't wanna vote...

_Trowa freaks out and quickly look up at Sally._

Trowa - LD

Author - Okay... Sally, I'm afraid you're out!

Sally - ... ... ... Sniff... BWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! _leaves, suckling at one of her twists, wiping her tears with her sleeve_>

Author - Byyyye!! Well!!! Now, Please welcome, and applause the Sailor scouts!!!

_Before anybody has the time to breath, a flock of girls burst in, invading the stage, shrieking, giggling._

All the GW boyz - _Blinks, blinks_> O.O;;;;;;;

Quatre - Uh... Sure they're pretty but...

Heero - It's...

Wufei - The...

Duo - ... UNIFORMMMWWWOUUUOOOUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHHAhhhhhh!!!! _Cries of laughing_>

Trowa - JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Duo - Okay... Seriously... You're all OUT!!! BWUUAHAhAHAHAHA!!!

Quatre - I apologize, ladies but...

Heero - Groooommmppfff!!!

Wufei - Out! Onnas!

Trowa - JJJJDDDD

Usagi - In the name of the moooooooooooooooonnnnnn....

_A headband flies, failing to behead the GW boyz, but Duo is hit..._

Duo - _Curled in a ball, squirms in his armchair, turns white, then purple, then red, then green._>...

Quatre - Duo... You okay??

Duo - _Clutching his... Huh... nether regions._> LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL**!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Usagi - Reveeeeeennnnnnge!!! In the name of the mooon! You've been punished!!

Author - ... Okay... _Waves to her security hamster._> Attack!!

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We spare the reader a scene of extreme brutality and free, bloody, gore violence with flying limbs. A carnage that would have made the rating immediatly jump to NC45, or NC2000, or... Uh... Well!   
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Author - _Once again, forced to clean the blood._> Uh... Our next candidate...

_Vegeta suddenly bursts in..._

Duo - Hey!! What are you doin' here! This a private contest!!

Vegeta - Just came to say that Bulma can't attend the contest. Die.

Author - And why is thaaaaat???

Vegeta - Savin' the world. Die. Die.

Author - Oh... Okay! Guess she's out, then...

Duo - Can't we have a pic??

Vegeta - _Glares._> No. Die!! _Runs and disappears._>

Author - Uh... Where was I?!! Ah yes!! Now... The Evangelion girls!!! First to join us, the #9, Rei Ayanami!!!

_An impressive silence falls in the theater as Rei walks on stage ans stares at the judges. It's the "Rei-effect" : Everybody is depressed. Except Heero, maybe, who gives obvious signs of agitation as he watches her._

Duo - Uh... Too pale. Miss...? Are you alive??

Rei - I don't know.

Duo - O.O; ... Out.

Quatre - I find her pretty... And that tight body fitting plugsuit... _Takes notes, scratches his head with his pen_> Miss Ayanami, could you smile please?

Rei - _Looks disturbed._> ...

Wufei - Yes! Smile, onna! I order you to!!

Rei - _Looks ready to die._> ...

Heero - Hn... Uhn... Hn... Hn!!!

Duo - What does he say?? Hey you freak! Hope you're not jerking off or something!!

Quatre - _Turns cherry red._> DUO!!!

Author - Pfff... He sez that Rei doesn't have to smile! You morons!! Trowa, what do you vo... Trowa??

Trowa - ...

Rei - ...

Trowa - ...

Rei - ...

Trowa - ...

Rei - What do you want?

Trowa - ... _Smug grin._>

Quatre - _Beaming._> Look!! Trowa has won another silence contest!!

Duo - Woaw... You crushed that yan... nanym... mnyaani... Uh... flour-head girl!!

Rei - ... S_weatdrops._>

Author - He beat her, we're all verrrrry happy... ANYWAY!!! What DO-YOU-VOTE-PLEEEZ???

Quatre & Duo - She's out!

Wufei - That onna needs "pale ivory" foundation, and blush too!!

All - _Stare at him._>O.O;;; ???????

Wufei - _Turns crimson._> Uh... She's out!!

Heero - She stays.

Author - Pardon? Who talked??

Heero - Me. She stays.

Author - _Blinks_> Well, sorry, but 1/5... She leaves us!

Heero - _Pulls out his beam canon of his spandex shorts._> She stays.

Author - No!! _Gestures to her security hamster._> See this?!

Heero - ...

Author - _Huffs_> That's better! Well, our next candidate, #10 Miss Soryu Asuka Langley!!

Asuka - _Bursts in_> You disgusting pervs!! I hate you!!

Duo - _Staring at her red plugsuit, or more exactly at its content._> He... Llo!

Asuka - _Slaps duo, punches Quatre in his poor, sensitive belly, yanks at Wufei's stunted ponytail, strangles Trowa and kicks Heero in the head with her foot._> I hate yooooooouuuuu!!!

All the GW boyz - _Sprawled on their armchairs, bleeding, dying._> Too... Vio... Lent! Sh... She's out!

_Asuka is already gone to kill Shinji..._

Author - Indeed... Well! Nevermind! Please welcome the #11, Miss Misato Katsuragi!!

_A collective drool session begins as Misato, 90-60-90, E cup*, walks on stage in a miniskirt..._

Misato - Hi kiiiids!!!

All - Hiii maaaajoooorrr!!!

Duo - _Drools._>There's...

Heero - Trembl_es._>... No...

Quatre - _Unbuttons his shirt's collar._>... Way...

Wufei - _Death grip on his katana._>... She leaves.

Trowa - CCCCCCMM

Author - At long last!! Miss Katsuragi is our second finalist!!

* * *

  
* Authentic!! They say it the 2nd manga!!

Well, The second part is almost done, tell me if you're interested in knowing, who will be THE girl!!   
R&R, thankie!!! 


	2. Part II!!

Well... The carnage goes on! If you have any question,suggestion, since there are sooo many "elligible" anime girls, E.mail me! Or put it in the reviews and let your E.mail!   
  
  


The disclaimer : Pffff... Those who think I own GW, raise your hands... _counts_> Okay... Well, I don't. You can lower the hands now, you know! Are ya gonna read with hour hands up???   
  
  
  
  


The   
"sexiest anime girl ever" contest! (Or : How many lethal magic attacks can a GW boy stand before passing out or dying...)   
  
  
  
  


_Back at the elections..._

Author - Uhm... We're done with the Evangelion girls...

Misato - And I win!!! _Takes a beer, Duo watches, mesmerized, as she drinks._>

Duo - _Drools abominably>_ Hhhhnnn gaaaahah!!

Misato - Want some?? _Gives him the beer._>

Duo - _Holds out his hand to take the beer, but with the firm intention to squeeze something else, the minute he is about to pet the critical zone, a frozen fish comes flying across the theater and hits him in the head._>

Pen pen - Kweek kweek!! **(Translation : Take you f****n' paws off!!! You d***head!!)**

Duo - @.@;;; What the hell... _Makes another attempt to approach Misato, but The penguin flies, following the fish's path and lands in Duo's face, neutralizing him with a frozen fish attack in the eyes and a violent braid-yanking._>

Pen-pen - Kweeeeeeeek!! **(Kisamaaa!! Don't even try that again...)**

Author - No violence!! Duo!! Stop torturing that poor lil' innocent!!

Duo - But!!!!

Pen pen - **:p :p :p :p :p**

Duo - You... YOOOUUU!!!

Author - Wanna chat with Treize?? _Treize shows him his teeth and begins a "Hakka"*, like the New Zealand Rugby team (All blacks! All blacks!!), to impress their enemies._>

Duo - _Sweatdrops._> I really start to wonder if that tiny beast likes us...

Wufei - You just start???

Author - Anyway... Back in your seats!

GW boyz - _Groan_> NNNNN

Author - NOW!!! _Treize approaches, the moleman lifts his shovel, which is still shimmering with Wufei's blood..._>

GW boyz - _Sit at lightning speed._> JJJJJ

Author - _smiles.> _Weeeeelllllllll... Now, we're at the beginning of the hardest part...

GW boyz - _Collective sweatdrop_> ...??

Author - Now, Our next candidates are... The Slayers giiiiirls!!

Quatre - OMIGAWD!!

Duo - ... _Pales._>

Wufei - Kami sama, Megami sama... Help us!!

Author - _Checks her script._> ... Uh no! Megami sama comes later...

Heero - Hnn... NNhhu...

Trowa - VYUII

Quatre - Uh... Actually... Who are those "Slayers girls"??

Duo - _Stop kissing his cross._> Yes... Who??

All - ???????????????????????????????????

Author - _Falls._> How could you guys become Gundam pilots?! Did they draw lots??!!

Wufei - How dare you! You insolent W...

Treize - Roarrrr!!

Wufei - O_o; Well... That an excellent question, onna! I wonder too!!

Author - _Smiles._> Okay... #12, Miss Amelia Wil Tesla Seyrunn!!

Amelia Burts out from nowhere and takes a pose.

Amelia - _Balling her tiny fists._> You shouldn't be here, peeping at women!! You have the holy misson of worshipping justice!! Justice is the only way to bring peace and happiness aaaalll over the world!! You should be protecting widows and orphan, you should be fighting for the sake of love and justice!! because justice is good!! justice is greeeaaat!! You should all be the slaves of the justice!! Everybody should be ready to die for justiiiiice, justice must...

Author - _Covering her ears with her hands._> Pleeeeeezzz stooop!! Pleeez!!!

Duo - O_O; Feels good when it stops... Anyway... Too short! she's out!

Quatre - Uh... Well... She's kinda out!

Heero - Too garrulous. Out.

Trowa - _Hair swept back by the wave of talking he just received._> D

Wufei - *_* _Eyes glistening with fresh tears._> Sh... She stays!! _Sprawls himself at Amelia's feet_> Onnaaaa... Will you marry me??

Amelia - Bweeeeeeaaaaahhh! For the sake of justice!! FIREBAAAAAAALLLL!!!

Wufei - _Smoking, coughs._> x_x

Duo - I take it she doesn't want to...

Quatre - Indeed...

Author - Okay! Out... Next candidate, Miss Phiria Ul Copt #13

_Phiria walks on stage, smiling sweetly, and starts showing everybody her teapot collection._

Quatre - _Drools, drools, drools, drools, drools, drools, drools, drools, drools, drools._> She stays!!!!

Duo - Blonde... She's okay! she stays.

Trowa - ... ...... .. . .... ..!! JC

Heero - _He's the only one who has spotted the huge and lethal bludgeon under her pink frilly skirt._> S... Sta... ay.

Wufei - _Weeping._> Ameliaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyy????

Author - His vote doesn't count! Anyway! she stays, and, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Ul Copt is our THIRD finalist!!

Phiria - _Kawaii smile, blushes._> Thank you soooo muuch!

Quatre - It's m... Uh, OUR pleasure!

Author - Uh... For our next candidate, I suggest either you all vote for her, either you take this. _Treize approaches and gives each guy a crash-helmet._>

Duo - _Stares at it in puzzlement, then threw it. All the boys do the same, except Quatre who obediently put it on his head, along with those weird glasses he wears when he pilots Sandrock._>

Quatre - We're ready!

Author - Gentlemen, please welcome, #14, Lina Inverse!!

_Lina walks on stage, munching fried chicken wings. She burps soundly before throwing the remnants of her food._

Lina - JHiiiii!!

Duo - _Blinks._> Uh? ... ... BWUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHH!!!!! Hehehehehe!! ABSOLUTLY No boobs!! Go back to your kindergarten!!! Wuuahahaha!!! Out!! hehehe!! Out!!

Lina - _Frozes._> ...

Quatre - I'm sorry, young child... This is an adult contest! Do you want candy for your participation?

Lina - _Glares._> ... W...

Heero - Unh... Out.

Lina - _Fumes._> What!!!

Wufei - No chibis here. You're out!

Trowa - JD

Lina - _Burns._> Darkness beyond twilight...

Author - OMIGAWD!! EEEPP!! RUUNNN!! HIIIIDE!!

Duo - What did she say??

Lina - Crimson beyond blood that flows...

Quatre - I beg your pardon??

Lina - Buried in the flow of time...

Wufei - Why not... Now, child, will you leave? We're working, here!

Lina - In thy great name I pledge myself to darkness...

Heero - Hnnn??

Lina - All the fools who oppose us will be destroyed by the power you and I possess...

Duo - _Taking off his black shirt._> Hey you guys... Dontcha think it's becoming a bit hot in here??

Lina - **DRAAAAAAAAAAGGGOOOONNN SLLLAAAAAAYYYERRRSSS!!!!**

Boom>

|RR{|{RR|N|RR{|{RR|   
The flowery interlude...   
|RR{|{RR|N|RR{|{RR|

Author - I told you to be careful!! but would you listen??? Noooooo!!!

Quatre - _Taking off his crash-helmet and his glasses._> Personally... I'm fine! Pheeeeww!! That was warm!!!

Duo - _Smoking._> AAAAaaarrrrRRrrGGHhhh......

Wufei - Is... Is the crazy onna gone??

Trowa - _Nods._> ...

Heero - Hn... Sui... ci... dal! Des... Tru... Ctiveeee!!! Hnnnn!!!

Quatre - Beaming.> Oooooh! Heero looks very happy!

Author - Well... can we go on now??

Duo - HHHErrehhegghrgrhrghaheraeerhhhHHEH!!!!!!

Quatre - Uhm... Duo is dying!

Author - Nooooo! He was just... Uh... Dragonslaved! _Looks at him._> Well... Ok... He's dying. But it's okayyyy!!!

GW Boyz - O_O; ?????

Author - _Fails to notice._> Becaaauuuuse! Our next candidates loves experimental medicine!! Please applause the first of our Godess girls, #15, Uuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllldddddd!!!

_Uld walks on stage and, immediatly, all the wounds heal, well more exactly, even the most badly injured pilots manage to lift their head to stare._

Uld - Hello kids! My, my my! Aren't we dying?! _Pocks Duo in the ribs, which cause them to fall on the floor._> Uh... Okay...

Quatre - _Stares at her (very) exposed cleavage, turns cherry red._> I already vote for you, but, could you do some kind a miracle for Duo??

Wufei - Onna!! If you str... Uh... If you heal Maxwell, I'll vote for you!

Uld - _Smiles seductively._> It's okay... But your godess can strip for you... too.

Wufei - _Overheat warning_> Uh... She stays!!!

Uld - Fine!! _Fumbles in a bag, containing various pills and liquids._> Got it!! _Shows everybody a disgusting black sticky stuff, which she, obviously, wanna make drink to Duo._> Open your mouth, kid!

Duo - ... x_x

Uld - _Undo the first three buttons of her dress._> Ooooopeeenn!!

Duo - ... x_x

GW boyz - O.O *_Take off the dress! Take off the dress! Take off the dress! Take off the dress!_ *

Uld - _Looks annoyed with herself, and finally takes off her dress._> Perfect!! If it's what it takes...

Duo - ... -_- ... O.- ... -.O ... O_O

GW boyz - _Floating quietly in 70 centimeters of drool._> Geeeeaaahhhh!

Uld - _Quickly shoves the whole bottle of the black sticky stuff in Duo's throat._> Aaaahh!! Gotcha!!

Duo - _Turns to various shade of blue, green and yellow, swells like a ballon, then starts to shrink, shrink, shrink, __shrink..._> AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Quatre - Omigawd!!! Duo is healed!!

Author - But...

Wufei - Maxwell is... a... Chibi?? MWUUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! HEHEheheheheeh!!!

Author - Well... Shoulda told you... With Uld's medicine... You never know...

Duo - She's oooouuuuutttt!!!

Quatre - _Eyes still glued on Uld's underwear._> What is it, Duo?? I didn't hear you...

Duo - _Nobody cares anymore cuz' he's to small to be listened to._> **SHE'S OUT!!!!! OUT!!!! OUT!!!!**

Heero - Hnn!! St... ay!

Trowa - SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCC

Author - Since Duo's opinion doesn't interest us... I guess Uld is our fourth finalist!

All (Or almost) - Yaaayy!!

Duo - noooooo!!!

Uld - Thanks kid! You can keep the dress!!!

GW boyz - _Collective faint, followed by a bloody fight over the godess's dress._>

Author - Oooookaaayyy... #16, Miss Belldandy!!

_Belldandy appears, giving everybody that kawaiiii, sheepish, sweet smile of her._

Quatre - Melting.> She staaaayyyysss!

Wufei - I can't vote now, I need to know her more... Can she strip too?

Belldandy - _Turns pink.> _Pardon? I don't think I can and... _Spots the yelling chibi Duo that no one hears._> Aaaaaaaaawwww!!! kawaiiiii!!! _Takes it in her hands, cuddles him. (Yes! he's that small!)_>

Quatre - Uh... Could you turn him into his, normal... state? I voted for yooouu!! _Gives her the Quatre-heavenly-kawai-super-sweet-smile__TM_)

Belldandy - _Even more kawai smile, pronounce a few weird words and Duo is back to his usal God of Death self._> Dooone!

Duo - Woooaaaw!!! I vote for you!!

Wufei - _Crosses his arms, pouts._> There are rules. Without rules, there's no justice. If she doesn't strip, I CAN'T vote for her.

Trowa - |{RJC

Heero - Strip!

Belldandy - _Looks ready to cry._> Sorry but... No!

Author - Weeelll... Actually, we don't care, you hentais! _Glare at them, gesture to Treize to come and explain 'em how life is.>_

_While Treize is taking care of Heero and Wufei (The usual : Pieces of fabric flying, blood, screams...), the author counts on her fingers (Yes!! She's not a maths genius!! Who said "We know..."???)_

Author - Soooo... 3/5... Uh... 3 is bigger than two, eh? So... She's the fifth finalist!! Yay!

Belldandy - Beams.> Oooooh!!! Thaaaaaannnnnnks!! _Hugs the "judges", who don't mind at all..._>

Author - Uh... Now... Ahem...

GW boyz - _Frightened._> What is it... NOW???

Author - Well... _Takes a crash-helmet, and goes hiding behind a little sand bags shelter... Along with Treize..._>

Duo - _Braid stands up._> W... Wait a minute! That freak hides too??!! What kind of monster are we gonna have to face???!!!!

_The answer to Duo's quastion comes under the form of a squeaking bunch of feather that lunges at an incredible speed towards him. Before he can even manage to move, he's crushed in a deadly hug._

Gabriel - HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I like yooooooouuuuuu!!!!

Duo - @_@ UUHhhhuuhhh!!! ... B... Breath!!!

All the GW boyz - O_O;

Author - _From behind the shelter._> Uh... Ladies and gentleman... Please welcome #16, Gabriel, and #17, Michaël... May the force be with you...

_When they manage to look clearly at the newcomers... Well... Uh..._

Quatre - _Blinking._> Is it me or those girls have... 3 pairs of wings???

Duo - Is it me or those girls are in... strings???

Heero - Hnn... Wing... Cool.

Wufei - ... I'd like to drool... And I'd like to ask them top strip too... But I have a bad feeling about all this...

Gabriel - _Latches at Trowa._> Do you wanna plaaaaaaaaaayyyyy???

Trowa - _Shakes his head._> ...

Gabriel - _On the verge of tears._> Y... You don't wanna play????

Quatre - _Smiles._> Hello.

Michaël - _Glares, looks disgusted._> ...

Quatre - _Smiles._> Uh...

Michaël - _Glares, looks even more disgusted._> ...

Quatre - _Sweatdrops._> Well...

Gabriel - _Cries hysterically._> Michaaaaaaaaaaëëëëëëlllllll!!!! He doesn't wanaaaaa playyyyyy!!!! Booooooohhhhhh!!!

Trowa - _Sweatdrops._> J

Michaël - _Turns to the pilots._> Kisamaaa!!!

Author - That's it... _Covering her ears._>

Treize - O_o;

Quatre - _gulps_> Uh... Is it me or... Uhm, Sir Michaël looks a bit... Tense?

Michaël - _Has closed her eyes and raises her arms as her wings extend to their full size and a weird circle of light surrounds her._> You... Weak, pathetic... HUMANS!!! Death will be your punishment!!!

Quatre - O_O;

Duo - Whooooo!!! Take off the string Honey!!

Wufei - ... O_o;

Trowa - ... o_O;

Heero - Omae wa korosu!

Quatre - Uh... She sounds pretty agressive... Shouldn't we get the Gundams or something??

Author - _Grinning, holding her hamster._> Oh! No... It's okay!

Quatre - Ah? Fine then... Uh, may I ask you why?

Author - _Smiles._> Cuz' Yer gonna die anyway!

Michaël - ROYAL...

All the GW boyz - KNJNKNLNLN Not... Again!!!!!!!!!!!

Michaël - ... HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOOM>

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Extreme violence censor! Here again, we spare the reader a particularly gory sequence! Thanks!   
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_Minutes later... Once more, our beloved GW have received the ceiling on their heads and the only sound that can be heard is a collective and rather insistant moan._

Quatre - _Toasted_> ... Aaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Duo - _Roasted_> Oh... F***... That was even worse than the Drag Slave! _Falls_>

Author - OoooW... Well... It's supposed to destroy the world... You know, Duo...

Trowa - _Blasted_> .... ... ........ .. ..... . ... .. ...... .. ... !!!!!!!!!!

Wufei - _Mashed_> Uh... I think Trowa is calling for help.

Quatre - OMIGAWDDDD!! Trowa is trapped under a piece of ceiling... With the security Hamster!!!

_Screams... Uh, well, silent screams can be heard from under the piece of ceiling and fight noises. Trowa's hand appears, but it's awfully jagged..._

Quatre - Weeps.> Trowaaaaaaaaa!!!

Heero - Dying... Like this... Hurts like hell.

Wufei - Bwweeeeaaaaaaahhh!! Trowa!! You pig!! You'll clean the place after you died!

Trowa - ... _Gives him the (half) finger._>   


* * *

  
*Spelling??   
  


This is getting worse... Eh??   
R&R, thankie!!!


	3. Part III!!!

Helllo!!! Wanna see the boyz suffer a bit more?? Come in!!   
  
  


The disclaimer : Pffff... Those who think I own GW, raise your hands... _counts_> Okay... Well, I don't. You can lower the hands now, you know! Are ya gonna read with hour hands up???   
  
  
  
  


The   
"sexiest anime girl ever" contest! (Or : How many lethal magic attacks can a GW boy stand before passing out or dying...)   
  
  
  
  


_Summary : Uh... Four girls elected so far and Trowa is dying!_

Gabriel - OoooooOOOOooooOOOOoooooh... I found Mr Barton's... Uh... _Stares._> Uh... What's this??

Wufei - I think it's a half middle finger... Baka onna.

Michaël - _Looks at the pilots, glares._> S***!!! I missed them!!!

Duo - Y... You really think so??

Quatre - Rather than deciding wether or not she destroyed us properly, I think we should take care of the urgent thing. Who DOESN'T wanna vote for Sir Michaël and Sir Gabriel???

Duo - ... Stay...

Wufei - ... Understood... stay.

Heero - _Grunts, fixes a few broken bones in various places of his body._> Grooompff!!

Quatre - _Kneels in front of Michaël._> We're very honored to elect you and also to offer you a box of chocolate and a car, thanks to Winner industries _Shows the logo to the camera._>, but pleeez don't hit us!!!

Trowa - ND

_Big silence..._

Quatre - O.O;

Wufei - o.O;

Duo - @_@;;;

Heero - -_-;

Michaël - WHAT??!!! >_

Duo - Uh... Trowa buddy... Are you still in here??

Trowa - ... .. ...... .. . ... .. ...... ...!!!!!!

Duo - Well... Are sure you don't wanna vote for them, I mean... They're cute, they wear strings... _Whispers._>And we've already been smashed to smithereens once...

Quatre - Yeah... A little diplomacy won't hurt!

Trowa - ...

Wufei - Clowny!! If you vote for them, we'll get you out of here, I swear!! _Crosses his fingers behind his back._>

Trowa - ... ... LC

Gabriel - Thank yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!! _Flies towards the piece of ceiling which is crushing Trowa and the security hamster, lifts it as if it was a feather and throws it across the room. It lands on Heero, who really has no luck. But we don't care, cuz' Heero is kinda immortal._>

Duo - Woaw. We're gonna have to repair Trowa.

Quatre - _Weeps._> Troooowaaaaaa!!! _Fumbles between the wreckage._> Trowa!! Don't worry, I found your head!! ^.^

Wufei - _In a Sherlock Holmes outfit._> But... Where is the rest??

Duo - _Akimbo._> Pfff... Everywhere...

_Three hours later... Quatre, Duo and Wufei are done pasting Trowa's pieces together again, Heero has escaped from under the piece of ceiling. (Don't ask...) And they're all ready, happy (almost all...) to go on the contest!!_

Author - Ooookaaayy!! Our next candidate!! #18, pleez welcome, CHERRY BLOSSOM!!

Quatre - _Very seriously, takes notes and all._> Well... _Stares._> Do you have any special powers, dangerous powers...?

Cherry Blossom - I've a very dangerous big stick, and this... _Takes out Matteo from her bag._>

Matteo - Beware... She luvs cheese and crappy suspense music and crappy hentai poems and tortur...

Cherry Blossom - _Boom._> Matteo is momentarily out...

GW boyz - _Consider the big stick warily._> ...

Duo - She stays.

Wufei - Ok.

Quatre - ... Uh... Ok.

Trowa - _In a wheelchair, looking like a mummy, petting insistantly Quatre's thigh, and who starts to be fed up with women and has decided that, from now, he will only play in yaoi fics where the only girl is either one of Quatre's sisters, either Relena, who dies slowly and awfully painfully._> ... .. ... . .. ..... ... .. ... ... . ....... .. ... .... .. ... ..... ... .. ....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DDDNNM   
NNDDDDNMMNNDDNNNMMMNNDNNNMNN _Insert (silent) cruel weasel laugh here._>

Quatre - _Blushes madly, squirms. Looks shocked._> Oooooh Trowa!! You're being rude with the young lady, apologize!

Trowa - **:p :p :p :p** _(And other gestures that I can't illustrate with my computer...)_

Cherry Blossom - Anyway, I've already been elected!

Author - Heero hasn't voted!

Heero - =_= _Holds a note which sez : _**On strike**>

Author - _Fumes._> Cherry chaaaaaan??? I think we're gonna let Treize rest a bit... D'ya have a big stick for me too??

Duo - Hey! Yer not gonna hit Trowa?! He's in a wheelchair!!

Cherry Blossom & author - So what??

_Fifty minutes later... Heero and Duo are in a wheelchair too._

Author - Fine!! Cherry Blossom is our fifth finalist, and now, four new candidates, The Tenchi Muyo! Girls!!! #19, Miss Ayeka, princess of Jurai!!

Quatre - _Thinks, thinks._> Uh... Who is, exactly, Tenchi??

Ayeka - He's my...

_Ryoko bursts in._

Ryoko - My looooove!!! Why?!

Duo - Well... "Tenchi Muyo!"... You know what we mean... If that guy was useless*...

Wufei - _Worried._> Did you... Uh...

Washuu - _Pops out from nowhere._> Kill him??? Not yet.

GW boyz - _Sigh in relief._> .... Pheeeewww!

Ayeka - _On the verge of tears._> Wiiiiiilll yooouu guys loook at meeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Heero - _Tries to shield himself._> ... Grroommmpff.... Re... e... l... enaaa...

Duo - _Comforting tone._> Husssshhhh looove... It's not Relena... It's over, now...

All - _Stare at Duo_.> O.O;;

Duo - Whaaat??? I agree with Trowa, you know... Yaoi fics are almost safer for us!! I often get tortured or fiddled with... But so far, I had never been **pulverized twice and beaten with a big stick the same day!!!**

Wufei - ......................................................... I'M FED UP WITH THOSE OOOOONNNNAAAAAAAS!!!!   
I'M gonna vote!!!! SEE!!! IT'S EASY!!!!! You!!! _Points to Washuu._> You're a Dwarf!! OUT!!!

Washuu - _Chokes._> ... O.O

Wufei - You!!! _Points to Ayeka._> Baka! Weakling! ONNA!!! You're Relena's lost twin!! OUT!!

Ayeka - _Weeps._> I... I don't even know that Relena girl!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! sniiiiiffff!!!

Wufei - _Stucks out his tongue._> Bweeeeaaaahhh!!! You!!! _Turns to Ryoko._> You're SCARRY, you know?? You freeeeeaaaakkkin' ONNAAAAAAAA!!!! **OUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Ryoko - YOU WON'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO REGRET THIS!!!

Wufei - _Throws his katana in Ryoko's direction._> And... Finally... YOU!! _Turns to Mihoshi, who hasn't understood a single thing and is smiling sweetly to the judges._> Uh... You... You... What's your phone number... Ahem, bak... Uh... Beautiful onnaaaaa??? Feel like stayin' with us for a while?

Author - Have you finished your brain-self-detonation, Wuffie baby?? _Resumes her reading of the newspaper_> Pffff... So... Do you all agree with Wufei's "selection"?? You can vote... I won't send Treize... Not now...

GW boyz - _All staring at Mihoshi, even Trowa and Duo, who have decided to be heterosexual again, for the occasion._> SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Author - _Tapping her foot.> _You're allowed to answer me, you know...

Duo - Hey honey! I offer you a ride in Deathscythe-Hell if you strip!!!

Quatre - I offer you a ride in Sandrock, plus a diamond!!

Heero - Groooompfff!!! Hnnn...!!

Trowa - J|{Rà33**+ **l

Wufei - Give up, Barton!! She won't strip for two tickets for the zoo and a clown nose...

Author - ... I take it she's our eight finalist...

GW boyz - _Tongues out._> YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Trowa - _Tongue out._> **......................................!!!!!!!**

Mihoshi - Uh... Thank you!

Author - _Sighs._> Nooooowww... Ah!! My favorites fussing girls!!!

Duo - ... God...

Wufei - ... Buddah!!

Quatre - ... Allah!

Trowa - ... Krusty**!!

Heero - ... Schwarzenegger sama!!

Author - _Bored. BORED!!_> Are you finished praying, noooow??? Uhm... Please, welcome, The Kenshin girls!!! Yaaaayyy!! _Insert "Rocky" Soundtrack here_> #... Uh... We're gonna stop counting now... Kaoruuuuuuu!!! Woooohohohooo!!

_Kaoru walks on stage, smiling brightly and holding a bucket of an undetermined mixture._

Kaoru - Hiiiiiii!!! I made dinner for the judges!! Taste this!!

Quatre - _Smiles sweetly._> Thanks! It's really kind of you... see, we had a pretty bad day until now and... _Takes a bite._> ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... O.o;

Kaoru - _Smiles._> Sooooooo....???

Quatre - ... I'm trying to... Find the words... To express... It...

Duo & Wufei - _Sniffs the food._> ... O_O;

Heero - _Very hungry, digs a hand in the bucket and is about to eat._> Grr... rroomp.. fff... Yumm...

Duo & Wufei - _Realize what is about to happen.Lunge to Heero in slow motion._> STOOOOOPPPP!!!

Heero - Grompf??

Wufei - Don't eat this!! It was a trap!!

Duo - It's a bucket of shit!!!

Quatre - _Throws up on Trowa._> !!!!!!

Trowa - NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Kaoru - S... SHIT??? I'll have you know I COOKED this!!!

Duo - Do people really eat it?? I mean...

Wufei - ONNA!! I'll have **you** know that Maxwell is a dustbin! He eats ANYTHING!! If he says this is shit, I trust his judgement!!

Duo - ... Thanks pal... -_-;

Quatre - She tried to poison meeeeee!!! She's out!!

Heero - ... Hnnn!! _Pulls out his gun._>

Duo - OUT!!

Wufei - If you don't disappear now... WE'LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN FOOD!!! ONNNAAA!!

Duo - Yeah... And you'll die!!

Trowa & Quatre - **:p :p :p :p :p :p :p**

Kaoru - _Hits Wufei and Duo with her wooden saber, pours the offending bucket all over Trowa and Quatre._> AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Quatre - OMYGAWD!! I'm drowning!! Heeeeeeelllllllllllllllpppppp!!!

Trowa - OPOPOP**!!!!**

Duo - Trowa is calling for help!!

Heero - Omae wa korosu. _Shoots Kaoru._>

_After Kaoru is dead and Treize has rescued Trowa and Quatre..._

Author - Weeeeellllll... If you avoided killing all my candidates, it would be cool! Anyway... Now, applause Miss Misao Makimachi!!

Duo - Okay... _Turns to trowa and Quatre._> Ahem... Could you guys sit a lil' bit farther from us... I mean... Uh...

Wufei - Yeah!! You stink!!

Quatre - It's not oooouuuurrr fault!!! _Bows his head in shame._>

Trowa - ... -_\\ _Absolute shame._>

_Misao appears and blinks. Sniffs and blinks again..._

Misao - BWEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!! Who forgot to change his diaper this mornin'??

Quatre & Trowa - _Everybody is pointing to them._> ... -_-;;;;;

Quatre - _Suddenly full of hate and resentment towards the entire female race._> Uhmm... Anyway! I think we should vote, now. Personally... Hummm, lessee... TOO **FAT**, TOO SMALL, TO DUMB!! Indeed... She's out.

Trowa - JJJJJJJDDDDDDDD

Duo - You think so?? Well... You're the strategist... I guess you're right. OUT!

Quatre - _Gives a smug grin to Misao._> I'm right... Trust me...

Wufei - No boobs... And I bet she doesn't wanna strip... OUT!

Heero - _Heero is not interesting in the vote anymore, so he's gone test his stenghth againgt Gabriel. This a decision he should regret very soon._> Hnnnnn!!!!! _Flies across the theater for the fourth time._>

Gabriel - _Plays Tennis with Treize and Heero as a ball._> Funnnnnyyyyy!!!

Author - ... I guess she's out... Then! Soooo... Next candidate, a Final Fantasy VII girl!! Miss Tifa Lockheart!!!

_Tifa walks on stage... And, once again, time stops. As far as the human mind can remember... No one has ever seen a skirt so short and such a... Uhm..._

Quatre - _Steaming._>Gaaaaaahhhh!!! Boobs warning!!!

Wufei - Must be strong!!! HONOR... I can... Resist!! It's... Only a... bosom!

Duo - _Creating a drool pool._> It can't possibly be real...

Trowa - _Snnnnnnnooooooooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeee._>

Duo - Hey!! Trowa buddy!! _Shakes him._> Wake up!! There's a babe!!

Trowa - _Snnnnnnooooooooozzzzzzzeeeeeeee._>

Duo - _Pulls at his bangs._> WAKE UP!!!!

Trowa - ... ... -_-... O_O!!!!!! _Hits Duo with his crutch._>** ........ ... .. ... . ..!!!!!**

Quatre - Trowa doesn't like to be startled...

Wufei - Really??

Trowa - _Has noticed Tifa._> JSSSSSS

Author - Do I really have to ask if she's stay...

GW boyz - NO!!!

Author - I'm bored... _Spots Heero, trying to escape Gabriel, who wanna hug him.>___

Heero - VVVVV**VADE RETRO!! SATANAAAASSS!!!**__

Author - _Evil smirk.>_ Treeeeeiiiiizzeeee... ATTACK!!!!   
__   
__ __

* * *

  
*It's a pun... Need I say more??? ^_^   
** Simpsons, yay!!   


How will it end...?????   
  
R&R, I beg on my knees! If you don't... I'll send you Treize!!!


	4. Final!

Helllo!!! Ah! We're baaaaack!!! See, Cherry B!   
Also, Hello Oracle!! I^_^   
  


The disclaimer : Pffff... Those who think I own GW, raise your hands... _counts_> Okay... Well, I don't. You can lower the hands now, you know! Are ya gonna read with hour hands up???   
  
  
  
  


The   
"sexiest anime girl ever" contest! (Or : How many lethal magic attacks can a GW boy stand before passing out or dying...)   
  
  
  
  


Author - Wheeeeh!! Back to the carnage! There will be blood! there will be chicks!! And there will be... A WINNER!!!

Quatre - I'm here! Me! Me! MEEEEEE!!! It's meeeeeee!!! _Waves a pathetic flag with a camel and a W printed on it_>

Author - We're sinking. Treize?? _Treize pops out, he was sleepin' in the cotton bed Grandma offered him for Xmas_> Pleez, take care of... This.

Quatre - W... Wait!! O.o; I got bread!! Look! And carrots! _Holds out his hands filled with food_> And I can give ya money too! _Produces a 10000$ bill_>

Author - _Total death glare_> ... .... Are you trying to bribe MY hamster??

Quatre - O.O; Uh... Not exactly... I was just trying to be friendly.

Duo - _Mimicks a beheaded Quatre_> It's over, Q-man...

Author - TREIZE!!!

Quatre - O.O;;;;;;;;

Author - ... Gimme the money.

Treize - _Tears off the bill from Quatre's hands_> Roooaaarr!!!

Quatre - J Pheeeeeewww!!! _Wipes off his brow_>

Author - _Smirks, turns to Quatre_> Do you have any valuable stuff?

Quatre - _Feels like he is being victim of a racket, but obey. He ends up clad in only his boxers_> .... -_-;

Treize - _Gives his watch to the author_> Groompff!

Author - _Grins_> Oooookay!! Treize! You can kill him now!!

Quatre - O.O; W... What the f***...

_Ensues a violent fight, hair and pieces of skin fly, blood splashes, there are growls, screams, and broken bones sounds..._

Author - _Watches_> Beware Treize!! Don't touch the boxers! The fic is NOT NC17!! I don't want him to end up naked!!

Wufei - What would be the difference? There's too much blood to see anything!!

Treize - RRROOooooOOOAAAaaarrr** [Born to be wiiiild]**

Author - Sooooo... Guess what!! We got a new candidate!!

Duo - Noooo... Please!

Quatre - _Looks like a strawberry, except for his boxers, who remain untouched_> Maybe we could negociate?

Moleman - _Shows his shovel shimmering with fresh blood_> No!!

Heero - Hn!!

Trowa - L

Wufei - _Takes Philia as a hostage_> Now I wanna go out!! Lemme out or I break the onna's neck.

Quatre - This is rude Wufei!! How ungentlemanly!!

Duo - Go Wu-boy!! Explode her! Free us!

Heero - Unh!!!

Trowa - COPFNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Author - _Gestures to Treize_> Don't move!! He has an hostage!!

Unknown voice - Yare, yare*... Whoever you are, I highly encourage you to finish this and demolish that filthy dragon!

Wufei - ... O.o;

Philia - _makes a double Nelson to Wufei, pulls out her mace._> XEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!!! Namagomiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!**

Xelloss - Nice to meet you _Dodges the mace_> Did you know that she was a psycho?

Quatre - No... I vote for her!

Duo - _Covers his ears with his hands._> Wheeew... You are the famous Xelloss?

Xelloss - Yes! and I assume you're the mighty God of Death?

Duo - ^___^ Yup!!

Xelloss - _Dodges a 'flame breath' casted by Philia_> How about we meet and do a lil' carnage together, some day? I think we have a lot to learn from each other by comparing our technics!

Duo - _Mesmerized_> Yeaaaahhh!!

Wufei - Are you gonna judge with us?

Xelloss - _Super grin_> Yes!

Author - _Taps her foot impatiently_> How about we start?

Quatre - Fine...

Author - Sooooo, our new candidate should have been here earlier, but my co-author made a fuss, anyway, I won. And she's in the box-office! ^_^ Pleeeeezzz welcome : Amraël!!

_Amraël walks on stage, she looks like a mix between Gabriel and Michaël..._

All the GWboyz - O.O !!!!!!!!!!

Quatre - OMIGAWD!! Another seraphim in string!! She's gonna destroy us!!

Duo - Should I leave... Or should I drool?   
  
Wufei - _Takes his crash helmet_> I'm ready for the mad onna!!

Heero - _Counts her wings on his fingers, try to speak normally_> W... Wait!

All - O_O???

Heero - She's not a s...

Duo - She's not like the horrible ones? OUT!!!

Quatre - _Zero smirk_> OUT!!!

Xelloss - _Enigmatic grin_> I choose to be wise... She stays.

Wufei - BWUUUAAAAHAHAH!! Weak onna!! Out!!

Trowa - ****JD

Author - Sooo... You decide that she's out?

All - _Mad snarls_> YEAH!!

Trowa - _Mad snarl_> ...... !!!!

Amraël - _Weeps_> Sniff!!

Author - Sure??

All - .... Why?!

Author - Oooohh... Nothing... _Polishes her nails_>

Xelloss - I know!!

Duo - What's the matter?

Xelloss - That is a secret! ^_^

Quatre - ... -_-; That was to expect...

Duo - _Waves to Gabriel_> Hey you! Pssst!! Pssst!!

Wufei - Maxwell!! are you nuts? Calling the monster onna!!

Quatre - Allah! Protect us!! _Takes his crash helmet and his glasses>_

Gabriel - Yeessssss? Do you wanna play?

Wufei - Uh... Not exactly!

Quatre - _Super sweet smile_> Uh... Would you be kind enough to tell where is the matter with your... Friend?

Gabriel - You made Amraël cry... This is mean...

All - Aaaannnd.........??

_As if on a clue..._

Amraël - _Extends her wings and bawls as loud as she can_> UUUUUURRRRIIIIELLLLL!!!!

Heero - Uhn!!

Quatre - What is she doing?

Gabriel - _Glomping Heero_> She calls her brother. ^_^

Duo - Her...

Wufei - O_O;;; ... Brother??!!

Heero - _Holds a pancart which sez : **HELP!!!**_> Uhn!!!!

Gabriel - _Petting Heero_> Yes, Uriel! Did you know he was almost as strong as Michaël?!

All - _Collective sweatdrop_> ...

Xelloss - I'm afraid it's too late! _Shields himself._>

Uriel - _Yuy Death glare_> Who made Amraël cry???

Author and Treize - _Point to the boyz_> Them!!!   
Uriel - Fine... _Pulls out a giant sword_>   
HEAVEN'S CRYYYYYYYY!!!!!   


SuperBoom>

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Here again.... The flowery interlude...   
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Duo - _Squished_> Arrrgh!!! I knew it!!!

Wufei - ... I wanna die!

Michaël - I can arrange that...

Quatre - ... I... _Looks up at Michaël, wings extended, ready to strike_> Uh... Nothing!

Trowa - ..... .... .. .... ...!!!!!!!!

Duo - Uh... Is Heero Okay?

Heero - _His making out session with Gabriel has somehow protected him_> A

Wufei - INVUVTIIIIFFFFEEE!!! _No teeth anymore_>

Quatre - Heero... You disappoint us...

Heero - **:p**

Author - Now that you're more or less alive... Let's have the last CANDIDATE!!!

Duo - It's the last one?!

Quatre - Ya RAYAAAAHHH!!***

Trowa - JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Heero - _Threws his tanktop, goes on with his business_> Unh!

Author - _Covers the readers eyes_> Don't look!! And you... BOOMBOY!! Did I ever say that I wanted this fic to be NC17!!

Quatre - This is immoral!! Heero is screwing an angel!

Duo - _Watches lustfully_> Go and give them justice Quatre...

Quatre - ....

Wufei - BWEAAAAHHH!!!

Author - Anyway!! The last candidate! Miss Yuri, from Dirty pair flash.

Yuri - Hai!! _Loosens the first (And only) button of her uniform_>

Duo - Arrrhhrherhfbejz etazetj:zgzg!!!! S... Stay!!

Quatre - Indeed... She kinda stays!

Wufei - I was about to ask for a strip, but, with such clothes...

Trowa - STAY!!

All - Trowa...??

Trowa - _Shows everything his 'tulkin' iz eazy' guide._>** ..... .. .... . ..... !!!!**

Heero - _BUSY_>

Xelloss - How could she leave...

Author - Wheew!! We have ten finalists!!!

Quatre - _eyes shimmering with tears_> REALLY???

Duo - _Throws a party in his wheelchair_> YEAAAAAHHH!!!

Wufei - It's over?

Author - No! First you pick three, then 1!!!

Trowa - ..... .... ... ...... . ....!!!!

Quatre - Trowa sez it sux!

Author - Trowa better be careful...

Trowa - _Sweatdrops>_JA

The ten finalists...

1) Midii Une   
2) Misato Katsuragi   
3) Philia Ul Copt   
4) Uld   
5) Belldandy   
6) Ex Aequo : Michaël and Gabriel   
7) Cherry Blossom   
8) Mihoshi   
9) Tifa lockheart   
10) Yuri

Author - Fine! Now, you pick three!!

_**Twenty minutes later**_

Quatre - I've been chosen to deliver the sentence!! sooo...

Midii Une : Cute, but no brain = OUT   
Misato... Hiiii majoooorrr! Uhm!! : Stunning! But... Uhm... She's thirty... = OUT   
Philia : Too violent = OUT Duo suggest she goes and measure up with Xelloss-sama... The jury agrees.   
Uld : Uuuuuuuldd... Aaaahhh Ulllllllldddd!!! Uh... Ahem!! = STAYS!   
Belldandy : Doesn't wanna strip... Sorry = OUT!!   
Michaël : STAYS No comment cuz' we don't wanna die!   
Gabriel : We can fire her becuz' she has a thing for Heero! = OUT

Author - _Glances at the lemon_> ... A 'thing'?

Quatre - Nevermind!   
Cherry Blossom : Uh... OUT... Sorry! _Dodges a big stick_>   
Mihoshi : Uhm... STAAAAAAAYYYYYYSSSSS!!!! _All the boys cheer (Silently or not)_>   
  
Duo - That make three! And we're still alive!!

Remnants girls, led by Cherry - **Not for long...**

Total violence interlude...

Author - Seriously... Who do you elect? Hey guys?! _Pokes the GW boyz_> ???

Xelloss - I think they're all dead.

Cherry Blossom - Ah?

Xelloss - Well ladies, how about a tea?

Cherry Blossom - I want Pocky!!

Author - Treize comes too!!

Xelloss - That's fine by me!

Cherry Blossom - I guess we'll never know who the sexiest anime girl ever was, then?

Author - It was a lousy idea from the start, anyway!!

Treize - Bye bye!!   
  
  


The End!!   
  
  
  


* * *

  
*Well, well   
** Raw garbage   
*** Arabian cheer

How will it end...?????

R&R, I beg on my knees! If you do... I'll give ya Quatre's money!


End file.
